Big strong girl

Don't push so hard against the world, no, no. You can't do it all alone, and if you could would you really want to? Even though you're a big strong girl come on, come on, lay it down. The best made plans are your open hands.

A few hours ago, I had dinner with my mom, sister, and boyfriend. It was very casual and relaxed. I had nothing else in mind, but my plate full of salmon and the occasional singing of Gian beside me. Normal and cool, I would say.

Then came the dreaded walk to my car. Gian and I were spending our last few minutes together before I leave for four months and it didn't really cross my mind until he asked me for a hug. Then he said, "You're leaving." Damn it.

Tears followed soon enough.

It got me thinking: Am I ready for this? What if I fuck this up? I'm overly stressed and pressured about the whole thing. The worst part of it is that no one else is to blame.

I need to relax.